The Challenge of Status for Women in Youth Ministry
Let's start with naming the issue so we can address it
Since I have become aware of the common challenges facing women in youth ministry, I have aimed to inform others about them, bringing challenges into the light so that we can address them. I believe the church can address these issues, and that it is a good service to women to help them to name and understand the challenges they are facing.
Being in ministry comes with its costs. Every ministry field comes with its unique set. I’ve touched previously on several of the common costs associated with being female in youth ministry:
The heightened difficulties of work-life balance as a woman, whether single or married with children
The impossible task as a woman of getting middle school boys to chill out
Today I want to talk about some other costs that share a common thread: issues related to status. Alison Fragale provides a lens for understanding these issues as she discusses status, defining it as “the way others see you — specifically, how much you’re respected, admired, and valued.”1 Applying her framework to youth ministry helps us see that many of the difficulties female youth leaders commonly face are due to women having lower status.
What does this look like for women in youth ministry?
First, it looks like challenges with respect — and not just from middle school boys. Adults often seem to automatically assume that women in these positions aren’t as important. They aren’t held as high in esteem. They tend to assume that women in youth ministry are not the ones in charge (even when they are) or that they’re just an intern or “girls leader” (even when they’re in their 30’s, have a seminary education, and/or are even the director of the youth department — and no, I’m not just talking about myself here). Often their junior male coworkers get more respect, because other people have a different set of assumptions about men. (And sometimes, it doesn’t hurt that men can look 10 years older by growing a beard.)
It also means they are viewed differently by church leadership. Some of this is due, again, to the automatic assumptions that others hold about genders. Other parts of it are due to the interconnectedness of status and relational capital. When you hold less of one, you hold less of the other as well. And when you are a different gender than all or most of the upper church leadership, it often follows that you will have weaker relationships with them, and therefore hold less status and relational capital with them.
The negative effects of this second piece manifest in many ways:
It often means that a woman-led ministry is overlooked in conversations and decisions amongst church leadership. Whereas men leading ministries are often by default included in those conversations (i.e. meetings happening amongst pastors and elders), they may not include the women. When the woman’s perspective is left out, and her ministry isn’t represented in these conversation, it can lead to negative consequences for the church and the ministry.
Church leaders will often be less aware of what’s happening in a woman’s ministry, because they aren’t hearing regular updates and reports on the ministry. When women aren’t invited to the official conversations to share updates about the ministry, or when they don’t have a strong enough relationship with leaders to regularly be sharing these updates more casually, leaders won’t know how to support the ministry well.
A woman is often left out of the lunches and casual conversations where much of the “unofficial business” and discussion of ministry matters happens. This robs her of opportunities to build better relationships with leadership, to better understand how her leaders think through ministry issues, and to offer her input in everyday ministry matters.
It can also mean that her supervisors are unaware of all that she is doing and all the value she brings to the workplace. Therefore, this can lead to her not being recognized in ways she deserves, including being considered for increases in duties and pay.
Notice that with each of these, if the woman’s input was valued more, if what she offers was respected more, and if her gifts were admired more (i.e. if she had higher status), these issues might disappear.
In a future post, I plan to discuss more of the issues related to that fourth bullet point, for I’ve come to find that many women in youth ministry are facing issues related to compensation and career paths. So stay tuned for more on that.
For now, know this: these challenges are real, but you are not alone in facing them. By naming these struggles, we take the first step toward solutions. I encourage you to reflect on how status issues have affected your own ministry experience—and to seek out ways to advocate for yourself and others.
Likeable Badass: How Women Get the Success They Deserve, page 5. The title of the book is her way of describing someone who is both warm and assertive.